Knee Jerk, Cry and Smile

Those of you who know me well know that I often end up making the best decisions in one impulsive moment. For instance, I got my Master's degree literally on an impulse. I had just gotten back from California visiting my sister. She had just had my niece, who is now 6. I decided I wanted to go back to school on one hot August afternoon. I went to my boss and asked her if she had any objections to me taking a class in the fall. She said no, and the next thing I knew, I was graduating with a Master's in Early Childhood Education. Good decision? Yes. Do I often wonder if I've lost my mind, deciding to teach young minds with nary a clue about the world? Of course. But I don't regret it for one single second.

So today I made another impulsive decision, which, I hope, will not come back to haunt me. I was reading an article online about a real estate deal gone awry, and one of the attorneys who signed the original lease at the heart of this deal had the same first name as my niece and the same maiden name as my mother. So I decided to Google him. He was an attorney in Richmond and is apparently dead. I kept searching around for other people with the same name, and I happened upon a young writer whose style of writing was very much like mine. She has the same last name as my mother. She also had a website that had a "Contact Me," field on it...and so I did. I e-mailed her. I said she didn't have to respond, but she did, within 5 mins. It appears I may have found a cousin of mine. I have to admit that when I got a response back, I started to cry.

Losing a parent is probably one of the hardest things to do deal with. Whether emotionally or physically, dealing with such a loss can be torture, and lingering questions about that parent are always there. I haven't actively searched for living relatives in the past 6 years, but for some reason I really wanted to contact her. It wasn't motivated by strong desire, but rather just sheer curiosity. Apparently, though, it sparked one of those lingering questions about my mother. Who am I? Why am I the way that I am? From reading this woman's writing, I see that I am more like my mother's side than I ever knew. This could explain why sometimes I just don't understand my father at all. The thoughts that occur to him, in their absurdity, just never occur tome . Rash cynicism? Yes. Out and out silliness that he contrives? No. I am hoping that maybe I will begin to understand a little more about myself through my knee-jerk reaction to a field that said "Contact me."

Toilet seat covers: why?

So I was just looking at a house, and I really liked this one bathroom that was mostly blue...and then I saw one of those carpeted toilet seat covers. Why? Why do people put these on toilets?

I just don't get it.

Time out

There's a reason why we all have vacation days built into our schedule...we need time off. Of course, I feel badly for moms who apparently never get vacation days, but nonetheless, I am enjoying my spring break.

Sat-Mon: went to see my dad...was feeling a little off the whole time, as it's only been two weeks since I had the flu, but it was nice to get away.
Monday: drove back home, and watched the Hills with B. Can we say AWKWARD with Heidi and Spencer...and it seems as though Spencer's sister has realized what a complete ASS her brother is, perhaps from watching the shows?

Tuesday: did NOTHING. I took a long nap on the sofa...oh, and I finally got around to downloading songs onto my iPod...and getting rid of a bunch of songs my father uploaded onto my computer. Although I enjoy the Beatles, I don't want to listen to every single song written by them. So, Beatles gone, and Killers and the Fray are now with me. :)

Wed: best day yet. Woke up late...drank coffee, and then got ready to go get a massage, which didn't end up happening. The lady who I was supposed to go to apparently lost her cat and had to cancel. That's okay, I'm getting a free facial and "parafin" soak, although I really don't know what that is. So then I just drove to Macy's and went shopping...got three shirts and two bras. Score! Then, I drove to the beach and went on a long walk...and on the way home I washed my car for the first time in well over a year--yes, it's been that long.

So for as much as I hem and haw over living in this area, being able to do what I did today is pretty cool. How many people can just stop off for a walk on the beach on their way home? Not too shabby...just wish winter here didn't suck so badly as it does.

Wed (today): woke

BTW

If you ever want to get a good laugh (preferably raspy), check out my profile on Classmates.com

Ha!

Smoky lady cough

It's pretty cool. Right now I have a cold....no, I'm getting over the flu. Not cool. Cool part: when I laugh, I get to sound like a raspy old lady who's been smoking all of her life. Ha!

Burp.

Thanking my Lucky Stars

Okay, so I can have a Chicken Little tendency, but when I hear that one of the top five investment banking institutions, Bear Stearns, is having a cash shortage, and the Fed is pumping money to them to keep them afloat...well, me thinks "the sky is falling." When I hear words like "actions like this haven't taken place since the Great Depression.." (though I hardly believe THAT in and of itself), I think "THANK GOD we did NOT buy a house." The last thing B and I need is to have a mortgage payment, and then for B to lose his job, and for us to be one of the millions across the country losing their houses. So for now, until I see a solid sky up above, and fewer scary reports, we'll just continue to save our money and look forward to the rainy day. If it comes, we will be okay. Thank God we didn't buy a house.

I guess in times like this it does force you to take stock of everything and look around and appreciate what you have, and don't get mad about what you don't have. I guess, for that reason, what goes up should and must always come down, eventually. If everything always rose, then we would only continue to be a country of self-indulgent, spoiled brats. Perhaps many people need a good wakeup call. Maybe it is time that we all take a look around and appreciate what we do have, and stop worrying about what we don't have. The last time I think we, as a nation, did that was on 9/11. God forbid we go through that again. Hopefully people will stop trying to think that there really is a pot at the end of the rainbow and stop chasing the dream, only to have the painted arch crashing down upon us.