Just can't wait

My sister and her kids came for a long weekend and they just left. I am sad to see them go, but I am also excited about what lies ahead for me and B.

Over the past few days we took the kids to various beaches in the area. The furthest one was an hour and a half away in the Outer Banks. Although I was not the biggest of hits to the littlest one, who is one and a half and really only wants momma, I can say for sure that B was a big hit with the boys.

He took my middle nephew out into the water and tossed him all around (wish I could, but my doc says no). When the littlest one saw him approaching, he would yell out "Ba ba!" and nothing made me happier to see that he was very well loved by all of the kids. Seeing him with a child perched on his hip just made me even more excited about our future.

To be sure, we heard enough blood curdling screams from the baby and C, and we know it will be hard, but I want it all. I want that, the messes, the joy, the laughs, the growth, everything.

I am now sitting in a quiet house as they make their way out to see some friends before heading back to Northern Virginia. The quiet is nice, but I also enjoy the sound of kids playing and laughing. I don't think anyone enjoys hearing a child cry, so I can't say I will miss that, but I will miss them, my sister included.

I am hoping that we can do this again next summer, only maybe next time we'll just rent a house in the Outer Banks and let everyone come and stay for the week.

One can only hope.

Water

I just thought I would post this in case anyone is reading this.

Please do not buy bottled water.

It's not just because of the plastic that's used, or the landfills that are filled because of them, despite recycling availability. It's because of the companies that are diverting drinking water in countries around the world for bottling water, a natural and free resource. The countries whose people cannot afford water tablets to make their drinking water safe are having their water taken away, and it's happening here in the United States too. Nestle, Coca Cola Co. and PepsiCo are all guilty of these practices. Water cannot be privatized. We need water to survive.

Please watch Flow: For the Love of Water for more information. I am in no way linked to the makers of the documentary, but I think everyone should see it.

Thanks

Nothing ventured

As you know, I am pregnant. What you may not know is that in three days my sister and her three kids are coming in town to stay with me. After she leaves, we are heading off to London and Paris! My dad is house-sitting while we are gone. These all sound good, except for one thing: I need a clean house for them to stay in. Does the pregnant lady want to expend all of her precious energy, which she is trying to store up for the next two weeks, on cleaning the whole house from top to bottom? I think not.

So on Friday I called up a local maid service and scheduled them to come to our house. I initially thought I wouldn't even tell B about it because a) I was going to do it anyway and b) I know how much he dislikes the idea of a maid. Eventually, I changed my mind, and on Sunday I told him.

He was at first in shock, and then he said he was walking away. So a few hours pass and I decide to make dinner (spaghetti carbonara). We sit down to eat, and he says he would like to talk. I agree, thinking that we'll talk about our trip. At first he starts off by asking what the maids will be cleaning. I tell him that they will be cleaning everything from top to bottom. He looks at me and says, "You know I'm not happy about this maid coming to the house." I looked back at him and said, "I know, but I'm doing this for me."

He then goes on to say that having a maid is lazy and pathetic, which then sent me into a dizzying spiral of unhappiness as memories of other people calling me lazy and pathetic crept back into the forefront of my mind. After he said this, I asked him if he was sure he was saying that I was lazy and pathetic. I figure he deserves a chance to take it back. Unfortunately he did not recognize this chance to save himself, and he said, "well, yes, it is lazy and pathetic." So, I got up and told him that my lazy and pathetic ass would be doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen now, if he didn't mind. I then broke into a full-fledged crying fest as I noisily cleaned the dishes.

So, the argument continued after he walked away and I finished up with the kitchen and sat down at the computer, still crying, still upset with him. I know I'm hormonal, but I know I didn't deserve that.

He came into the office where I sat, plopped himself on the sofa and just looked at me, as if he's challenging me to continue. So I ignored him and continued with what I was doing. Eventually I looked back at him and asked him, "Do you have something to say?" He shook his head and said, "I don't know where to go from here." I let him know that his words hurt me. He apologized, and then went on to defend why he disliked the idea of a maid. And it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with him.

He dislikes the idea because he thinks it reflects poorly on him; that he will be seen as too lazy to clean up his own house. Interestingly enough, the most I can usually get him to do is to vacuum, take out the trash and occasionally help out with dishes. That's it. Once in a while (every six months) he will take it upon himself to clean our impossibly designed shower (did the designers think about how someone would have to clean it at some point?). So really, he was embarrassed at his own shortcomings. I, however, recognize our own faults, am able to look down the road and see that I will need energy for our trip and my family, and work to find a solution. And the solution is embarrassing to him.

We continued on with our discussion, and he continued to tell me how he didn't like it. I informed him that no matter how much he disliked it, I was still doing it, for me, and that it had nothing to do with him.

Granted, it's not exactly respectful to do something that you know someone else hates, but I made the point that while he did not respect my reasons for having a cleaning service, I, in turn did not respect his wish to not have the maid to come at all; therefore, the maids were coming, like it or not. I am paying for it, he is not.

After a while, B finally put his private belongings away in the bedroom and conceded to letting them clean the bedroom.

As I sit here and type, I hear a woman busily scrubbing the kitchen counter and know that when they are all done, my whole house will be sparkling clean, and that will last for a good long while. I am also happy that I held my ground and did not give in.

Some things are just too important to give in on, and yes, my energy and well being are too important right now.

How to know when a kid has too much

Today I saw something that I never, in my wildest imagination, thought I would see at my school. As I left the school I saw a group of blue baseball uniform-clad 8 and 9 year olds standing in front of the school, surrounded by their moms with cameras saving each moment of this day. I could tell they were waiting on something. It was obvious that the moms had driven the kids up to the school as their cars were parked each and every way in the lot.

As I made my way around the kids and parents, I looked down the road and saw what they were waiting for. Its white metal and glistening chrome grill plowed its way down the street and pulled in front of the school. What was this white beast? A Hummer. A stretch Hummer. Those Hummers you see for weddings and proms, and the occasional New Year's party. That is what was picking up the kids to go their Little League tournament. A Hummer.

I wonder: is there any part of the moms involved in this grand scheme that wondered about the audacity and total ridiculousness of this spectacle? What Little League team needs to be picked up in a stretch Hummer? And quite frankly, when those boys are older, what will they do for their prom dates and weddings? Seriously!

Do they realize they are setting the bar impossibly high? It is for reasons such as this that I really don't even feel like trying to get the kids anything nice, because many times it never feels truly appreciated. I mean, come on, I can give gift cards to the kids for reading 15 Newbery novels in 4 months, but that's nothing compared to getting a ride in a stretch Hummer.

And really, that problem is only minor compared to what the parents are actually doing to those kids. Sure, we want kids to be happy and to have what they want, but did any of these kids say, "Mom, I want a stretch Hummer?" No, I doubt it. But did those poor unwitting parents plant the seed that will bear the fruit of ungrateful behavior in the future? You bet.

Here's the other part of this that I see as impossibly stupid: all of the parents drove the kids to the school to get in this Hummer. So not only did they use the gas and CO2 to get to the school, with the kids in tow, they opted to waste a shitload of money on a Hummer, and to use one of the most environmentally offensive vehicles in existence, simply for their own vainglory.

I love where I work, but really, sometimes I feel like I work in la-la-land. And this is a public school!

There's one other thing, too. I was raised in an upper-class family, although I had no idea we were upper class at the time, and my parents made sure we weren't aware of it. Although I pretty much had every toy known to Hasbro packed away in my room, I was also raised not to flaunt or brag about money. My parents never drove imported European cars. They drove Pontiacs because they were friends with a local dealer. To overtly show your money means that you are "new money," and were not raised with any class. Part of my outrage over this also stirs my own upbringing that says that to do such things is tacky and low-class. I also think you don't have to have money to know these things. I think no matter who you are, or how much money you make, flaunting it is tacky.

Am I showing my southernness here? Any southerner knows the difference between a redneck with money and a southerner with money. One is screaming and yelling and driving Hummers while the other has her grandmother's silver tucked away in a pantry for her own children to use in years to come, and hopefully it's all monogrammed (I love monogramming).

So I suppose on many levels, I am simply offended.

Newsie news

It's strange how what wives and husbands choose to communicate can be entirely different, and the timing of what they choose to communicate can be vastly different from one another. 

So I'll share my news because those who are reading this who know me, likely already know. For those of you who don't know me, well, I don't care if you know because I don't know you, and it's not like you're sitting around gossiping about a girl whose picture isn't even posted.

So, yes, I am pregnant! I'm nine weeks along now, and what's funny is that although B told his mom, he hasn't told anyone else on his side yet. Meanwhile, I would say that about 15 people on my side know. The funny part about B is that he wants to tell his best friend first, but here's the problem: his best friend has a 9 month old and they rarely see each other. When we did see each other, he couldn't find the right moment to share this with him. So it's become a running joke with us. How long will it take? Will it be January 6th, my due date, when he finally knows? Ah well, all in good time.

I say this as if I take it all in stride now, but no, I have been annoyed by this. I wish he would just go ahead and say it, hell, text it if he has to. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's that it's not a bad secret that we're keeping, and when B's friend found out they were expecting, he told us almost as soon as he found out, which is when his wife was only 4 weeks along, and that is really early. 

Sometimes B's indecisiveness and procrastination drives me batty, and then when it doesn't, I also know that with him, things just take time. Hopefully by January his friends will know. Ha!

The first ultrasound is on Tuesday. I hope everything is okay. Of course this is every expectant mother's worry, and I do think things are okay, but I hope I don't end up as wrong and mistaken, and having to delete this whole post in embarrassment and shame.