Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Something is in the air
It's 53 degrees and sunny out. Although I feel like crap right now, I can't help but feel a little energized, because I am getting the feeling that spring is just around the corner. Oh, warm weather, come to me!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Ah, blessed weekend
On Friday I thought I must be getting sick, or something else (preggo?) because I was so tired that I literally ached to the bones. I told B that my bones hurt, and he looked at me like I was insane. I guess he's never had that feeling of being bone-tired. But, after a hot bath and 10 hours of sleep, I felt much better. And since we don't plan to even think about trying to get PG until this summer, I would prefer not to be pregnant, and rather just exhausted.
This weekend has been good. Yesterday we sat and discussed our thoughts on money and the future...and then we went out to look at a few neighborhoods where we saw what looked to be some cute houses--online.
Basically, it goes like this. We want to have a nice house, but we also want to take vacations like taking the future family to Disney World along with our parents...I want to take a trip to the Grand Canyon and have my dad come. It's been his lifelong dream to go to the Grand Canyon, and because of his disability, the thought of him never getting to see what he wants to see is just heartbreaking to me, so we want to take him on that trip, and for him to get to go to Disney World. It is one of his most favorite places to visit. There is a certain innocence about my father that I really love. He can be abrasive and insensitive from time to time, but his favorite comedy routine is the Three Stooges, and he loves Disney movies. And I also suppose that when B starts talking about his random thoughts and his innate silliness comes out, it makes me feel happy and comfortable because I know who he reminds me of.
So, we went to a few houses in this area that we thought we might like. WRONGO. Yikes. Houses listed in the 300Ks, and they are obviously listed by crack smoking flippers. One house that was next to a house on sale literally had shutters falling off the house. WTF? So, after driving by a few, we decided that it may be a while before we buy anything. I am not settling for some 80s house that has been upgraded, but still needs a lot of work. At least we are in no hurry and aren't pressed for time at the moment.
I have to say that although I enjoy using the internet to search for houses, it's so deceptive. You can see a house online that looks to be nice, but then you go there, and it's not at all what you thought it would be, or the neighborhood isn't at all what you had hoped it to be. And I can't imagine why someone would buy some of these houses when there are many more for sale, around the same price, in a nicer area. Oh well. To each his/her own, but it won't be for us.
Oh, and I've been reading Lord of the Rings. I like to pick a thick books to read during the winter time, since I am not outside nearly as much. I have to say that now that I am reading the books, the movies make so much more sense. The reason why the movies are so confusing is because a lot was left out. I understand they had to edit for time, but some details that were left out should have been included. Anyway, I feel so much more enlightened now! I don't really know why Tolkein thought that he must emphasize which direction the hobbits are traveling with such detail--taking many paragraphs to explain such details--but for the most part, I am enjoying it.
Ah, blessed weekend. Off to spend him with B, and then go to church.
This weekend has been good. Yesterday we sat and discussed our thoughts on money and the future...and then we went out to look at a few neighborhoods where we saw what looked to be some cute houses--online.
Basically, it goes like this. We want to have a nice house, but we also want to take vacations like taking the future family to Disney World along with our parents...I want to take a trip to the Grand Canyon and have my dad come. It's been his lifelong dream to go to the Grand Canyon, and because of his disability, the thought of him never getting to see what he wants to see is just heartbreaking to me, so we want to take him on that trip, and for him to get to go to Disney World. It is one of his most favorite places to visit. There is a certain innocence about my father that I really love. He can be abrasive and insensitive from time to time, but his favorite comedy routine is the Three Stooges, and he loves Disney movies. And I also suppose that when B starts talking about his random thoughts and his innate silliness comes out, it makes me feel happy and comfortable because I know who he reminds me of.
So, we went to a few houses in this area that we thought we might like. WRONGO. Yikes. Houses listed in the 300Ks, and they are obviously listed by crack smoking flippers. One house that was next to a house on sale literally had shutters falling off the house. WTF? So, after driving by a few, we decided that it may be a while before we buy anything. I am not settling for some 80s house that has been upgraded, but still needs a lot of work. At least we are in no hurry and aren't pressed for time at the moment.
I have to say that although I enjoy using the internet to search for houses, it's so deceptive. You can see a house online that looks to be nice, but then you go there, and it's not at all what you thought it would be, or the neighborhood isn't at all what you had hoped it to be. And I can't imagine why someone would buy some of these houses when there are many more for sale, around the same price, in a nicer area. Oh well. To each his/her own, but it won't be for us.
Oh, and I've been reading Lord of the Rings. I like to pick a thick books to read during the winter time, since I am not outside nearly as much. I have to say that now that I am reading the books, the movies make so much more sense. The reason why the movies are so confusing is because a lot was left out. I understand they had to edit for time, but some details that were left out should have been included. Anyway, I feel so much more enlightened now! I don't really know why Tolkein thought that he must emphasize which direction the hobbits are traveling with such detail--taking many paragraphs to explain such details--but for the most part, I am enjoying it.
Ah, blessed weekend. Off to spend him with B, and then go to church.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
There are some days
That make you wonder if you really should have gotten up.
Witness: this morning.
I woke up a little late, flew out of bed and into the shower. I got out, made my coffee, and turned on the news. "There have been reports of up to 25 accidents today due to the rain that came through. Because of the low temperatures, it has frozen on contact." And then they show a map of where the rain currently is. Well, okay. It's on the VA/NC border, about 45 mins from here. I'll be okay. Besides, if it was bad, we would be on delay. So I keep watching. Next headline: Man dies in fatal crash on Ferrell Parkway. Oh shit. That is about 10 mins from me, and apparently it's from the ice. FRICKIN FRICK! My heart starts racing and I start to think, "am I safe to go to work?" I walk into the darkened bedroom and tell my husband about the news. He reaches out for my hand, and I know he's worried. Or at least he's showing compassion in my time of freaking out. He asked what roads I would take to work, and we both decide my normal path, which crosses over the Bay, would not be a good choice. So I take the other route...and long story a little less long: the whole way was an ice rink. I slid once. Thankfully there was no traffic when I slid. It took me over an hour to get to school. Usually it takes me 20 minutes. At least I am safe and sound.
As I was driving, had an overwhelming feeling of crying coming over me--that, and the urge to just stop and wait for the roads to thaw-- ridiculous on both counts.
So the rest of my day came through as abnormally as a high school freshman who has just grown three inches overnight. And now, I am exhausted, and I still have work to do. I want to give it the old grad school push, but I am tired! I worry that I'll end up giving a student an A when they really got a D, just because I'm tired, and I just want to get it done.
Okay, time to rally. I can get this done!
Witness: this morning.
I woke up a little late, flew out of bed and into the shower. I got out, made my coffee, and turned on the news. "There have been reports of up to 25 accidents today due to the rain that came through. Because of the low temperatures, it has frozen on contact." And then they show a map of where the rain currently is. Well, okay. It's on the VA/NC border, about 45 mins from here. I'll be okay. Besides, if it was bad, we would be on delay. So I keep watching. Next headline: Man dies in fatal crash on Ferrell Parkway. Oh shit. That is about 10 mins from me, and apparently it's from the ice. FRICKIN FRICK! My heart starts racing and I start to think, "am I safe to go to work?" I walk into the darkened bedroom and tell my husband about the news. He reaches out for my hand, and I know he's worried. Or at least he's showing compassion in my time of freaking out. He asked what roads I would take to work, and we both decide my normal path, which crosses over the Bay, would not be a good choice. So I take the other route...and long story a little less long: the whole way was an ice rink. I slid once. Thankfully there was no traffic when I slid. It took me over an hour to get to school. Usually it takes me 20 minutes. At least I am safe and sound.
As I was driving, had an overwhelming feeling of crying coming over me--that, and the urge to just stop and wait for the roads to thaw-- ridiculous on both counts.
So the rest of my day came through as abnormally as a high school freshman who has just grown three inches overnight. And now, I am exhausted, and I still have work to do. I want to give it the old grad school push, but I am tired! I worry that I'll end up giving a student an A when they really got a D, just because I'm tired, and I just want to get it done.
Okay, time to rally. I can get this done!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Randomness for the Day
So I had the day off today, which gave me time to do what I would normally do on a Sunday and Monday after work, which is: do the dishes, wipe the counters (how they get so nasty so quickly I will never know), plan for food and lesson planning, oh, and laundry. A few things came to mind today that I thought about.
So today I get home from both stores, and as I'm trying to put all of the groceries away, there are several bags full of recycling in front of the shelves where the cans need to go. So I put down the cans and pull out two bags of recycling. At first I start to take it downstairs to the garage, but then I think, "No, I'm going to have my husband do it." So I quickly pull four bags of recycling out, and line them neatly by the top of the stairs, so when he comes home, he will see "Oh, I need to take these down." Of course, the more likely scenario is he will see them, ask me "why is this recycling here?" then I'll say "So you can take it down." He'll grunt, and walk away, and I'll get impatient knowing that he probably won't do it until later, if at all, and in the meantime, I'll lose my mind because they should not be there. Yes, I know. Totally crazy. Then, I get the thought that it would be nice for everything to be neat and clean when he gets home, and then we'll have a nice dinner (roasted chicken, baked mac and cheese and butter beans)...and so, even though I want the help, I'll just do it myself, and so I did. Yes, I really do think we women are makers of our own drama. I'm only hoping that I won't give him some spiel about how I took them all down, once again. I am trying to promise myself I won't do that.
Which brings me to the idea of pulling out wires and plugging them back into the right places in my head. I know from brain research that people are literally hard wired to do, say and think certain things, and that the wiring created starts from birth. So I have to say that trying to pull out and rewire all of the dysfunction of my childhood (which, coincidentally enough, didn't seem so bad at the time, until I was 12) is no easy task...where did this non-sequiter come from? Well, just the impulse to give my husband crap about things I willingly do is a wire that I am tugging at right now. We all have our glitches, but damn if this one doesn't suck.
One last thing. Over the weekend my husband and I had a LOOOONG talk about whether or not to move, and if we move, then where do we go? Long and short of it is that we are staying in the area indefinitely. And now, dear hubby is on the house hunt. I want to move into a house, but I was thinking that it would be this summer. It probably will, but I wouldn't be surprised if we find something sooner. Gulp. Hopefully we will both be predictably picky about this, and take our time. I have been enjoying not planning a wedding, relocating....buying a house is pretty huge. Still, I am excited. When I was at Target today I was just thinking about how we need to hold off on buying anything for our current place, because we'll need the money for our new place.
GULP.
So today I get home from both stores, and as I'm trying to put all of the groceries away, there are several bags full of recycling in front of the shelves where the cans need to go. So I put down the cans and pull out two bags of recycling. At first I start to take it downstairs to the garage, but then I think, "No, I'm going to have my husband do it." So I quickly pull four bags of recycling out, and line them neatly by the top of the stairs, so when he comes home, he will see "Oh, I need to take these down." Of course, the more likely scenario is he will see them, ask me "why is this recycling here?" then I'll say "So you can take it down." He'll grunt, and walk away, and I'll get impatient knowing that he probably won't do it until later, if at all, and in the meantime, I'll lose my mind because they should not be there. Yes, I know. Totally crazy. Then, I get the thought that it would be nice for everything to be neat and clean when he gets home, and then we'll have a nice dinner (roasted chicken, baked mac and cheese and butter beans)...and so, even though I want the help, I'll just do it myself, and so I did. Yes, I really do think we women are makers of our own drama. I'm only hoping that I won't give him some spiel about how I took them all down, once again. I am trying to promise myself I won't do that.
Which brings me to the idea of pulling out wires and plugging them back into the right places in my head. I know from brain research that people are literally hard wired to do, say and think certain things, and that the wiring created starts from birth. So I have to say that trying to pull out and rewire all of the dysfunction of my childhood (which, coincidentally enough, didn't seem so bad at the time, until I was 12) is no easy task...where did this non-sequiter come from? Well, just the impulse to give my husband crap about things I willingly do is a wire that I am tugging at right now. We all have our glitches, but damn if this one doesn't suck.
One last thing. Over the weekend my husband and I had a LOOOONG talk about whether or not to move, and if we move, then where do we go? Long and short of it is that we are staying in the area indefinitely. And now, dear hubby is on the house hunt. I want to move into a house, but I was thinking that it would be this summer. It probably will, but I wouldn't be surprised if we find something sooner. Gulp. Hopefully we will both be predictably picky about this, and take our time. I have been enjoying not planning a wedding, relocating....buying a house is pretty huge. Still, I am excited. When I was at Target today I was just thinking about how we need to hold off on buying anything for our current place, because we'll need the money for our new place.
GULP.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Great Gatsby
I also wanted to say that today I finished reading "The Great Gatsby." I actually loved it. I thought the paradox of who Gatsby thought he was, or who he wanted to be, coming into conflict with him becoming a victim of his own vainglorious activities (trying to win back Daisy, who was married to Tom, engaging in nefarious businesses just to make the money he never had as a kid) was very telling. I think even in this day and age, people walk a good walk, and talk a good talk, but I think that right now in this country, people are paying the price for trying to show to the world that they are more than just another name, that they can have a house, and not be able to afford it, that they can get a loan, even with bad credit, and that they can buy a Coach bag, even when they have no food in the fridge. Eventually truths come out, and just as Jay Gatsby was a victim of his own ambitions, many people, right now, are victims of their own attempts to be more than they ever really were. I don't mean to say that people shouldn't have goals and dreams, but to say that you have a house that's worth millions, when you really owe millions on a house that you can't sell because it's overpriced, is something that is biting people in the asses right now. Ah, in the meantime, my husband and I are sitting and waiting like hungry vultures as the prices drop.
I am now an official blogger
Hello!
I have been meaning to start my own blog for quite some time. It seems to be a good fit for me, since I tend to pontificate on life and the world around us. So now, here I am. Get ready!
First off, I'll start off by saying that it is freakin' cold here! Now I'm not talking Green Bay, WI, cold, but for my coastal blood, it's pretty freezing--in the 20s now, and supposed to drop into the teens. I worry about Global Warming, because I believe it is real, and not a hoax, but despite all of that, I do like my warmer weather.
Today my husband and I rearranged our office space to make it more appealing for me to be creative. When I was a kid, I used to draw and draw for hours. I remember my dad sitting and watching TV, and I would sit in a nearby chair sketching people and animals, all the time. Now I can draw just about anything put in front of me, but when I was an art major at Longwood, it killed all creative motivation in me. Being forced into making art is not something I enjoy, and it damaged me more than I knew. I think, though, that I have recovered from that, and I now want to create. I also learned that when I was making things for our wedding, I enjoyed creating in my spare time. So now, I'm back.
On my desk I have charcoals, oils, acrylics and sketch pads, canvases, etc. I really hope I do get back into it. I'm finally feeling comfortable and relaxed, and that I can finally be creative.
I have been meaning to start my own blog for quite some time. It seems to be a good fit for me, since I tend to pontificate on life and the world around us. So now, here I am. Get ready!
First off, I'll start off by saying that it is freakin' cold here! Now I'm not talking Green Bay, WI, cold, but for my coastal blood, it's pretty freezing--in the 20s now, and supposed to drop into the teens. I worry about Global Warming, because I believe it is real, and not a hoax, but despite all of that, I do like my warmer weather.
Today my husband and I rearranged our office space to make it more appealing for me to be creative. When I was a kid, I used to draw and draw for hours. I remember my dad sitting and watching TV, and I would sit in a nearby chair sketching people and animals, all the time. Now I can draw just about anything put in front of me, but when I was an art major at Longwood, it killed all creative motivation in me. Being forced into making art is not something I enjoy, and it damaged me more than I knew. I think, though, that I have recovered from that, and I now want to create. I also learned that when I was making things for our wedding, I enjoyed creating in my spare time. So now, I'm back.
On my desk I have charcoals, oils, acrylics and sketch pads, canvases, etc. I really hope I do get back into it. I'm finally feeling comfortable and relaxed, and that I can finally be creative.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)