Growing up

When I was young, my mother bought a nativity set that I would excitedly set out on top of my spinnette piano each December. When my parents divorced, it took a number of years to heal from the separation from my mother and my home. As a symbol of our traditions and Christmases, I always wished to have the nativity set back.

I pushed my dad to get a nativity set for our little two bedroom apartment, even though he could not afford the delicately painted Fontanini set that I had grown up with. He did manage to get a beautiful porcelain set from a local department store that went out of business, and he still has it.

This year I finally bought my own nativity set. I know it's just a piece of plastic, but as I said before, it's more than that. It's a symbol of my religion and of my past. It is a symbol of the happiness I had when I was a child. I do not expect to piece together the past through this purchase, but I also see it as something to carry my husband and I forward, and to hopefully share with our children, and to pass on this memory. For us, there is a future ahead, and with B I look forward to each holiday as it approaches, and each year I hope to make this holiday as good as the last.

I always thought that when I turned 30 life would be over. I pictured myself sitting on a sofa, watching TV, with little to look forward to and with the best years having passed me by.

How wrong I was.

I never realized that perhaps that was the life of my parents, but is has not turned out to be the life I am leading.

What no one tells you is that life really starts when you hit the age of 30. For many, life is not as confusing and ambiguous as it is when you graduate college. I never knew how hard those years after graduation would really be. Every time I hear of someone graduating from college, I silently say a prayer for them, because I know how hard it can be to find your way. When you're an undergrad, you're sold on the idea that you will take over the world once you graduate, that somehow that little piece of paper you've been given is your key to the world. In a sense, it is; having a college education is a requirement for the potential for success for many people. Sure, there are those who did not go to college and are successful, but I contend that they would have been successful no matter what. So yes, a college degree is essential, but a key to the world? Hardly.

What no one tells the poor, unknowing undergraduate, is that life is really hard once you graduate. You start out at the bottom of whatever field you enter, and then you question, "What the hell am I doing? Is this really what I want? What was I thinking?" For many people I know, myself included, the mid-20s are a time for reinvention, discovering yourself, and that ultimately entails going back to school. Maybe a second time around will help define who you are.

So then you graduate, again, and start out on the path that you are hopefully more suited for. And then 30 comes. But something happens as you hit that age. You look around and say, "Wait a second, this isn't so bad!" No longer are you the struggling 20-something trying to find your way. Even if you still aren't sold on the job you're in, at least the salary tends to help.

My husband is still wondering if he's in the right field. But if you work in his field of commercial real estate, I would think you'd have your doubt, no matter who you are or how well you do it. In the meantime, we are thankful for stability.

As I eagerly await the arrival of our new nativity scene, I eagerly look forward to the future. No matter how daunting or unpredictable it can be, I know that I can get through many things, and the biggest challenge lies ahead: kids. At least, I think, I am not still struggling for stability and could handle such a challenge at this point.

I'm really not even worried about 40, although I do think I may need to have some maintenance done on my face (droopy cheeks and eyes run in the family)...but probably not until I'm 50, as we all tend to age well...unless you're my uncle, whose work life has aged him considerably. Hey, if you worked until 1am at the age of 60, you'd look older too! He has certainly paid the price for his success. His success didn't really begin until he was 50. So I look at guys like him and know that life is short, but many good things lay ahead.