Knee jerk continued

In my last post, I mentioned contacting a possible cousin of mine. Well, she is awesome! She is also a published author who writes frequently on msn.com and several other sites, but for anonymity's sake, I'll leave her name out of here. The amazing part is that since contacting her, I have learned a little more about my family, where they are, and what they do. Not only that, but I found out how to start to get into writing children's books, and I am excited! I joined a writing society last night, and I have begun to write every night. Tonight I am just blogging, and there is nothing special to what I am writing, but I am excited about writing my story.

I think what is most heartening about her is that she and I actually have much in common, down to teaching (hence the anonymity), and she is as open as I am, and in her writing I sense the same thinking process too. Of course, she isn't a direct cousin, but through meeting her, I am learning more about myself. There is most definitely a sense of security in discovering these parts about yourself.

My mother, despite her severe mental illness, could be smart, funny and quite charming. She could be generous in her care, and attentive when I was a child. I see myself in some of those aspects, and I also see these same qualities in this cousin of mine. So of course there is a common thread starting back with our many greats grandfather. I may have lost my mother, but I am glad to know that there is family on her side that is kind and compassionate, sensitive and insightful, smart and witty too.

Several years ago I was visting my family in NY. I told my aunt I wanted to teach. She was emphatic about that. When I told her I wanted to write novels about my mother, she didn't know what a good idea that was. But she hesitated and said, "No, I think you'll write children's novels." I looked at her and thought, "I don't know..." I always have that reaction when someone tells when what I'm going to do when I myself haven't a clue. Even when I was in high school I was told by other teachers that I would be a teacher. I protested and insisted that I would not be a teacher. Ha! Now that I have "met" this cousin of mine who is also an author, and who is also pointing me in the right direction for how to get started, I wonder, is my aunt right? Only time will tell, I suppose. I do know that I have so many stories begun and the source of inspiration is always my students. I suppose one could say that they are my muse.