One of them moved to Fort Lee, NJ when we were juniors in high school. Her parents were separated and her mom decided to sell their house in Lynchburg and move to Florida. S and her mom were not exactly close and fought all the time, and so she moved up to live with her dad who was an executive for a major clothing brand. We kept in touch all throughout our junior year in high school, but when we were seniors, we stopped talking. I stopped calling her because I was mad at her for not seeming to care about our friendship; whether real or perceived, we stopped talking and lost touch. It was one of those cases where you always wonder "whatever happened to..." and I did. I always wondered what happened to her. So one night I was on Facebook and I did a search for Lynchburg, VA. I saw one guy I knew in high school, and he had about 400 people on his "friends" list, and S's little brother was on there, or so I thought. I sent him as message asking if he was her little brother, and yep, it was him! So then I sent her a message, and we've been keeping in touch since then. I am so happy I found her, after all these years. She's such a good person, and I regret making such an immature decision as I did, but hey, what can you do? I was an insecure teenager.
The other girl I found was a good friend of mine from high school through my sophomore year in college. We were together a lot in high school. When I wasn't with Mary (as mentioned in a previous blog), I was with her. I hung out at her house on many days after school, and we rode horses together. Then she went off to VA Tech while I was at Longwood. During my sophomore year she pledged Kappa Delta and soon thereafter we stopped talking. I believe she was mad at me for things I said to her. I think I said I didn't like her shirt while we were drinking a few beers--yeah, rude, but not exactly jawdropping either, but I guess it was enough for her to call it quits. For some reason I always thought it was my fault that we stopped talking, but thinking about it, that wasn't my fault at all. I don't know what happened, but the result was the same: another friend gone. So this summer I found her in facebook and it turns out that she is in the area! I think she knows that our non-talking years weren't good, because she has written to let me know what's going on with her, and we're trying to get together this summer before I start teaching. I hope we can reconnect. I know our friendship will probably never be the same as it was, but having her back as a friend is also good.
I guess the point of what I am saying is that I am glad to have the chance to find the people I lost along the way. The other day my dad was talking about trying to find a friend that he had lost when we in his 20s. Well, this past year he searched again on the internet, and he found his obituary. I felt so badly about that. But it also allowed me to be thankful to keep in touch with many of the close friends I have, and to reconnect with the ones I lost. I suppose that many of us experience this sudden disconnection. I also suppose that it's better to suck up your pride and get back in touch when you feel you should; otherwise, you could end up finding that person's obituary and feeling regret at a missed opportunity.
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