Opportunities and dreams

I recently completed Andy Pausch's "The Last Lecture." I read it in about 2 days and the whole time I read it I kept thinking about how much I wished everyone would read his words. The twist to the whole book is that it was written for his kids. If, as a consequence, someone else learned something from it, then I'm sure he was happy, but I don't think that was the ultimate point for him. Nonetheless, it has forced me to examine my own dreams and to look at where I am in my own life. Last night B asked me what my dreams really were, since he thought that mine was to work for Disney (which I did, but I still feel incomplete as far as that goes). 

To backtrack a little: the night before I had finished Pausch's book. I really started to think about his message about going for those dreams we've made. I have to say that as a child, I didn't have too many dreams. I wanted to be an astronaut or a teacher. I LOVED learning all about Science, and I still have a latent passion for all things space-related. In my mind, I think there's still a chance that I could go into space one day, even if it isn't as an astronaut. That's still a dream of mine. But ever since I was in grad school, I have had an INTENSE desire to study, of all things, the brain. I based my graduate work on the brain and how the brain functions in relation to learning. So, on that same night when I finished the book, I went to the computer to look up this guy, Eric Jensen, who is a guru on brain-based teaching. I went onto his website and he had many reasons for why he can help an organization, which didn't really float my boat. I'm not interested in a sales person. BUT, he did mention how Harvard has a graduate program on Mind, Brain and Education. As soon as I read this, my heart started thumping faster and I zoned in like a laser, and off to Harvard's website I went.

Now, don't get me wrong. I know that such a school is a total long shot for me. Yes, I actually do have a high enough GPA from my graduate work (and yes that ONE lousy B, which dropped me down to a 3.94 still kills me, because I am a perfectionist), but still, it's Harvard.  Not only is it Harvard, but I know that part of the admission process is about what I can do for them, not just what they can do for me. Still though, to take a class with Howard Gardner, or to actually work in Project Zero, an institute with the grad school of ed, would be amazing. That is my nerdy dream. 

So anyway, I told B about it, and since he's always wanted to go to Boston, he didn't really flinch. Actually, the next night he asked me if studying the brain was really what I wanted to do. And yes, it is. He then said that since he didn't really have any major dreams to aspire to (which I think is fine), then maybe at least one of us could get to achieve our dreams. Just thinking this makes me tear up, because that is why I married him. I also told him that while that is a dream, I have others, like having kids and a nice home. So while I realize that I have some dreams, they conflict with others I have. Not that I can't have kids and study the brain, but it would mean uprooting for a year and then moving again....but this is all assuming I have a prayer in you know where of getting in (I do know of a grad student from JMU who did go on to Harvard, so I know it's not that far fetched).

At the same time as I started to look into this, I have also been looking at getting my EdS in Reading Education through UVA. They have a center here in VB, so I can get my EdS through Curry here in town. I plan to take one class starting in September, and formally applying during the fall semester. I have been in touch with the contact for the program, and she assured me that they would look at my grad work first before looking at anything else (and I have to say that I am so happy I worked SO HARD in grad school. I didn't want to just get my master's. I wanted to be great at what I did, so I worked really hard). So I have to wonder, could it be possible that I could actually get my EdS through UVA, and somehow finagle myself in the MBE program in some way at Harvard? I know UVA has a great reputation amongst other schools, so I wonder if I could somehow do that, so that I don't have to totally uproot and leave the area if we don't want to? Also, I can get my school system to pay for my classes, so that's obviously a major bonus. Maybe that is what I will do, and maybe I will let them know that in my essay for why I want to go there.

One funny thing to add on to this: when I was in high school I had basically resigned myself to the fact that I sucked at math. I had let everyone convince me that I was no good, and I bought into it. So when I took the SATs and I saw all the math questions, I can honestly say that I guessed on most of them. So to say that I guessed on the math SAT and still got a 500 is pretty good. Imagine what I could have done if I had tried? So, in college I actually found out that I COULD do math, and I started to get As and Bs. So fast forward a few years, and I'm looking at the practice GRE. I jumped straight to the quantitative section, since I now know that that's what I need to study, and not the verbal section. Well, even though I didn't learn some of the math in high school, now that I have taught math, I now know how to do the problems, and I'm not totally lost in it. Since I had to teach it, I had to learn it first (go figure!), so now I even know how to find the area of a cylinder! So maybe there is hope for me, just yet. I guess I'll find out when I take the GRE.

I always tell others that when opportunities are presented to you, you take them. Even if you find them, and they don't come to you, go for it! I think perhaps I need to follow my own advice.